Of tags and Mabon

I've been wanting to clean up the tag system for quite some time.  It's a mess. And that's why the newest posts aren't tagged. It's hard to do this from a phone so I may have to wait till my laptop is either working or replaced. But here is the new list of categories (possibly to be updated later) so you'll know and so I won't forget them.

Works -- Crafting, sewing, art, music, writing. Anything creative. I thought about "craft" or similar as a tag but it doesn't seem broad enough to include art and writing, plus I'm a Witch so it might get confused with the Craft. ;)

Witchstuff -- Speaking of, anything related to my faith will go here. Like those giant questionnaires I like filling out. >.> Or oh that reminds me, I have a goth tarot deck I should show y'all.

Events -- Lolita meetups, NaNoWriMo write-ins, rituals and festivals, goth clubs, conventions, random parties. Those go here. If a post has, say, 5+ pictures, I'll try to add *Pic Spam* in the title.

OotD -- Outfit of the Day! For posts that include an outfit post, obviously. I'll be sewing more so I hope to post these more often.

Challenges -- So I can keep track of multi-day questionnaires and challenges that might come around the blogosphere.

Loves -- Things I like. Was going to be "fandom" but I want to include  things like other blogs, and online stores.

Goals -- Wherein I ramble about my plans for the future. Like webcomics, and recording my songs...

Personal -- My personal life and thoughts on things. This may be a more serious category. That post on depression would go here. Although, this category may include a more silly, "misc" side as well? We'll see.

--

Right now I'm really excited about the Mabon ritual I'm going to tomorrow night. It's an open group rather than a coven. After growing up in a cult, I can't stand the thought of submitting myself to religious leadership (although it may work for other people).

I don't often get to share my spirituality with others, so I can't wait to go and make friends. I'm really shy though, not least because this is so important to me. And well, I grew up having to defend and debate my feelings and views about religion, in ways I was almost never prepared to.

But even so, I don't want to get tongue-tied (unless it's because of my stuttering). I want to tell people that I work with the Horned God, in a strange, wonderful combination of Deity and lover, and how much he means to me. And I want to sing my hymns someday for people who'd appreciate them. ...You have no idea how hard that was to type out! But there. Yes. Anyway. Until next time!

Of mist that clears to find the moon

*blinks at sidebar*

I really need to clean this place up. See what blogs are inactive, maybe have an "Archives" section for them...

Also, hello again! I've missed you.

I've been in an extended low-energy point for at least a year now, while it seems like life goals chaotically swerve around me. But I've finished college finally, I'm looking to end my unemployment, I have my own home with my partner...

And I have a sewing machine. And prospects of getting fabric.

Two of the three lolita dresses I made need serious repairs--I want to fix them. The third needs minor upkeep, by which I mean a couple of the roses are coming loose.

But then I want to sew again! And start building my goth and loli wardrobe once more. I'm also working gently towards my creative projects, teaching myself how to cook, trying to find more friends of the various (lolita, witchy, permaculture, goth, and so forth) subcultures in which I want to have a social group.

As someone with depression, I have to go slowly sometimes, or find ways of approaching goals that don't seem daunting or stress me out. One thing that helps is I walk to a coffee shop in my area (which doubles as my goal of more exercise!) and sit there with a latte while I work on things or relax with my laptop. Getting to do that feels really quite 'Lolita,' even though I'm not usually dressed up.

And in continuing this blog, and my presence (both social and creative) in the community, I hope I can be a lighthouse to others, as I've always wanted to be since the first post. I want other young lolitas or goths or anyone who reads this to know they aren't alone, and that they will achieve their dreams and realize the dark frilly world they've just begun reaching out towards.

Finally, for the first real time in what feels like a very long while, I wore lolita. It was at a winter formal held by my university's anime club. And I met a couple girls who like the fashion, so maybe there are some potential loli friendships already.

I very much want to show you the pictures, but they don't seem to have been posted on the event page yet. So I will edit this post when I do have access to them, or maybe make a new one. So,

May the Goddess of Night spread Her wings over the dreams you build.

Edit: Pics!

These two were taken by Terry Shih.

This was taken by Amy Wong, one of our other photographers for the event. I wanted to have a picture with my sheep, Sheepie Annabelle Lee. That's really Lolita, right? Also she's showing off her cute bonnet that I made.

Of much plans, and such art wow

Hello, Ballroom Dancers. It's been a while. Writing about gothy and lolita things, though, is very much on my list of "I want to do this for the foreseeable future." I've just had a lot going on as I try to move into my adult life (in what feels like a rather belated and anxiety causing way).

I haven't been to clubs much recently, but I did randomly meet VictorianKitty from Sophistique Noir! That's the second time I've unexpectedly met her while clubbing, and both times we each apparently debated with ourselves whether the other was who we thought they were, or were we just seeing things. (We weren't.) I wasn't as gothed up as I'd have liked to be (it was an unexpected outing), but she was lovely and impeccably dressed as always.

So, there are a few...tangentially related things on the list of major changes in my life recently. I won't be bringing them up that often, but I want to kind of share my evolving paradigm and sense of who I am. I've realized that I'm bisexual, and polyamorous. I've found that the spiritual path that most speaks to me is Wicca--so you could say I'm witchy in more ways than one, hehe.

On the school and business front (wow that sounds like a really legit official name for something), I've finished my undergrad! Finally. I majored in Japanese, so I'd like to translate and eventually interpret. But I also want to go to grad school for astronomy (specifically extrasolar planets), after taking some classes at a community college or something.

Speaking of jobs, I am in the huntings. It is frustrate. Catspeak is seem to halp my mood a bit. Really hoping I get a job at this one diner I really like (yay pancakes all the time!) which is within walking distance of where my partner and I will be living soon.

Creative stuffs: I haven't had the chance to sew much lately--though I do finally have some fabric, and a sewing machine of my own (frustratingly its pedal is currently misplaced)--but I really want to get back into that. Although first I have to finish a long overdue commission for a friend. The lateness isn't entirely my fault, as I haven't had much access to a sewing machine, but it still feels awful, you know? Like, I want to be a more reliable commissioner than that, and intend to be in the future.

I have done a lot of digital art recently though (mostly of my characters). In fact, a store in my area that sells local artists is going to carry a few of my prints once I get them printed. It's exciting! I'll post the five down below that I picked, which I thought would be suitably halloweeny.

I'm also looking to take commissions (of art). If anyone is interested. I probably will crosspost this to my deviantart, BrushstrokesofFire. I'm not expecting a huge income from my art (and I very much still want a regular job of some sort), but every little bit helps. I mean my partner and I aren't in dire straights, but I need some financial autonomy. Anyway, while examples of my work would currently include mostly original characters, I hope to add some fanart too, soon. Just to show I can do that too. ;)

Anyway, time for halloweeny art pics~
(This is Taralyn and friends. I recently started writing a new draft of my planned book about her, which is really exciting. Been wanting to do that for a long time!)

And don't forget, it's almost October! (Which is Best Month, for obvious reasons.) Have a whimsically spook night until I see you again.

Of returning and plans and dark fantasy art and stuff

Hello my goths and lolis, I hope everyone had a fun or at least not stressful holiday season. I'm currently in the process of a grueling (traditional! for my family) 36 hour roadtrip back to my home, so I wanted to do something slightly more glamorous for the moment and reconnect with my gothic lolita dream world that I haven't had much energy for in the chaos of school.

Still working on those pics from Halloween, where I dressed as a certain witch I rather crush on, from Madoka Magica.

As for sewing news, I've had to move back home briefly before graduate school, and while difficult in some ways, that does mean I can sew more easily. I had a severe lack of fabric while I was in my apartment. I do finally have my own sewing machine though! Thank you, boyfriend. And craigslist.

I am doing a lot of digital art of my characters, though, so I thought I'd post some of those. This project started out as my own version of Tarot cards, and then I decided to make a fan deck for the card game Weiss Schwarz, which has groups of cards based on different anime and manga serieses.

Most of this project is on my deviantart, if you're interested. Thanks for looking!

Also stay gothy and lolita-...y? Yes. Do that.

Of my love for this subculture that will shine until class M stars go out

It's 2am here, but I was spurred to write this post by reading the farewell post of another lolita blog that I've loved for a long time. It made me cry, to see the blogger go, not just from lolita blogging but from lolita itself.

It made me think how I've posted much less in recent days than I want to, sewn much less than I long to. But that isn't because I'm losing interest. It's because school and chronic depression / anxiety saps so much of my energy sometimes. It's because I don't (YET) have a sewing machine with me in my apartment. It's because on the weekends I do go home, the house is always so cluttered (an ageold very frustrating problem for my house) that it's hard to find space to sew.

You have to understand, to a goth, saying "I'm leaving the [fashion/subculture/whatever]" is, well, confusing. A lot of my approach to lolita comes out of my having discovered goth first; so I don't consider it something I'll ever tire of or (Goddess forbid!) grow out of. No, I plan to grow into it. The reason--one reason--I feel so strongly about that is that I haven't really had a chance to shine in it yet! I'm still in the protostar phase, winding up my accretion nebula so that I can start nuclear fusion in my core the moment I get the chance.

That was an astronomy metaphor, yes. I love astronomy! It made me realize there is ONE thing that would make me suffer through more school after my bachelor's. And it wouldn't even be suffering! Because stars and exoplanets and nebulae and galaxies and yay!

I end up using science metaphors all the time. It's really amusing. And useful! And nerdly.

Back to my point: what I meant in that metaphor was I haven't sewn as many lolita clothes as I would need for a full "basic" wardrobe. I haven't sewn stuff to sell to my other lovelies out there either! The thing I am happy about though, is that I've been working on some other long-dreamed-of goals, such as art of my characters. My characters always inspire me, including in fashion, so hopefully I can get some fabric and start sewing soon! *dusts off ribbon-rose making skills*

(By the way, class M stars, the dim red ones, shine for like a hundred billion years, literally. The Universe is only 14 billion years old or thereabouts, so we haven't actually observed a class M star going out. They almost LITERALLY burn forever.)

Of being well met by moonlight

I had forgotten that my polyvore automatically updates to Blogger, but even so I hope some of you enjoyed the recent deluge of polyvore sets. I wanted to try the same lolita + zodiac idea that Aly employed on her blog Miss Lumpy, except that I was going for a more gothic aesthetic (as I'm sure you gathered). I'm better at creating art sets than the strictly fashion ones, so they aren't literally lolita, but I'm quite proud of them, even so.

Other recent news...I went to Fresno to visit my prince, last weekend. I will try to obtain a picture or two from our date at a goth club event. It turns out I'm better at dancing than I thought, which is rather helpful in confidence-building (aka it provides yet more evidence that I should not be as painfully shy as I am, which I am trying very hard to overcome).

Yesterday I attached another(!) ruffle to the skirt of my dress, but didn't manage to get a picture quite yet. Will do so, soon. That reminds me! I also need to photograph my recent for-Etsy crafting. Let's just say I suspect my trademark will be (ribbon-made and all other sorts of) roses. But you knew that. And chandeliers, of course.

On Sundays I have a Japanese study group that meets at Starbucks, and yesterday I happened to meet a lovely gothic lolita (making three of us in all in that group, plus another one who wasn't dressed in goth loli that day) with whom I am now planning to revolutionize our local community. Translation: we need tea meetups every week. Also, we think there should be more gothic (in addition to sweet loli) vendors at various events, and accordingly will combine our crafting powers. Watch for more news on the subject! Seriously, it was like one of those wonderful chance encounters I would write for my characters--except it happened to me, in real life! Remarkable, no?

Of Brands that READ MY MIND

Winter quarter has started and I'm still getting my new routine under control, so thanks for being patient with the delay! I hope everyone had a good winter holiday.


Sadly I have no camera with me, so this will be a bit of a shorter update. But anyway, since this quarter promises to be rather busy, I made a list of my creative goals and it's hanging from my shelf now, so that might be a nice concise anecdotal summary of my plans. Those of my plans that my Ballroom guests might care about, that is.

"List of fun endeavors in case of hima toki! [free time]

--Etsy
--Crafting
--Blog
--Songs
--Write
--urzai"

Bet you can't guess which one I'm doing now. Oh, also, "Urzai" refers to my favorite Avatar pairing, meaning that I need to update this one story (okay, fanfic) I have that centers on them.

It just occurs to me though that I forgot to write a Very Important Goal which is: make more lolita! I'm planning to make a dress heavily inspired by AatP's La Fee de Rose Noire (I've linked you to a post dedicated to this dress on akumaxkami's blog, Les Fleurs Noires). From the name, "Black Rose Fairy," to the opulent ethereal design to...to just about everything, I'm completely in love. It's rare that I find my "dream style" of lolita in the brands, but in case you were wondering, this is it. Well maybe not the lace overlay at the very top (though it's pretty), and I plan to change the roses on the bodice to black ones (of course). But seriously, when I first saw this dress I felt like Momoko did when she first lays eyes on a dress from BtSSB, which promptly slays her old self.

I think I'll leave you with that, and hopefully an update with pictures will be forthcoming!

Of a meme and a lolita bubble

Sammy of The Random Lolita has embarked on a most exciting-looking 30 day meme in which one shares tidbits about oneself and lolita fashion, and I have decided to join her.  If you'd like to join in too, please do so! Here is Sammy's post with the 30 days' topics.

Day 1~
10 things about your lolita bubble.

1. I fill lolita cliches without even realizing it. At this moment I am sipping tea while working on some handsewing for my onepiece, and browsing lolita blogs. Oh, and this morning I baked a coffee cake. (It was a new-to-me recipe but it turned out pretty nicely!)

2. I love the idea of people choosing a symbol or motif to "represent" them, or to incorporate into their wardrobe/surroundings. I love black roses, so they've become the dominant motif in my wardrobe--though not the only one, certainly.

An interesting aside: in the world of my stories, "dusk rose" is another name for a black rose, so I suppose I named myself (online anyway) after my favorite flower.

3. Speaking of which, I'm slightly strange perhaps in that I've named different sides of my personality as they relate to a specific fandom or subculture/alternative fashion. I think of "Dusk Rose" as my lolita and goth girl self. But I also love boystyle, so my Aristo self is "Rainshadow." (I love the rain. Overcast days are my favorite.)

4. Blogs have always been a huge part of my connection with the lolita world. Victoria Suzanne of Lolita Charm (the first blog I discovered) was a major influence on my decision to become a lolita (Thank you, Victoria! <3). During the months last spring when I didn't have the resources to begin sewing my loli clothing yet (I was at college across the country), lolita blogs gave me a window into the lives of other lolitas, and a connection to the lifestyle I longed for.

I've always hoped this blog would do the same for other aspiring or solitary lolitas. I'd like to be a lighthouse, if you will, so my fellow rufflebutts know they're not alone in their struggles to bring beauty and frills (spooky or otherwise) into their lives.

5. This blog is officially one year old! I thought its birthday was later this month, but apparently I first posted April 30th. Well I suppose this 30 day meme will be a sort of birthday gala, in that case. Thanks for making this an amazing first year, my dear Ballroom dancers! <3

6. Two of my characters wear styles similar to myself (well lots more do too, but that's beside the point). Umeko is a gothic lolita who loves black roses, and Etsu dresses in boystyle Aristo; she was first inspired to do so by the aristocratic attire of a (fictional) Visual Kei artist whom she admires.

7. It's strange, I can picture my dream wardrobe very clearly in my head (well, reasonably clearly), and so sometimes I think of it or refer to it as though it already exists, although I still have to pull my dream dresses out of my imagination with a needle and thread. Do any of my fellow wardrobe builders have this experience sometimes?

8. Despite having a somewhat unusual style (or so I've gathered), I've seen a lot of gorgeous lolita clothing that would fit right into my dream wardrobe, and I wouldn't mind purchasing some items when I have the funds. But for now I most enjoy wearing things that I made myself.

9. Eventually I hope to take on some leadership roles in my local loli community, partly, I think, because I'd like to extend the "lighthouse" concept beyond cyberspace.

10. I dream of taking commissions someday, and of having my own lolita brand. Some of the designs will be inspired by my characters, so I'm looking forward to creating them.

That's all for Day 1 (although I should warn you that Day 2 will be coming along shortly). I hope you enjoyed reading these, and again, feel free to jump in on this meme at any point of you'd like.

Of brand inspiration for a dark faerie princess

39 followers? Wow, thank you all so much!

Now, as to this post~

I'm sure that many of my readers have a favorite brand, possibly even those readers who (like me) prefer to be sewing and offbrand lolitas. It never hurts to get style inspiration, right?

Up until recently, I had thought of Alice and the Pirates as my favorite brand. I like their nonprinted items fairly well, but it was really their gorgeous prints that caught my eye. Over all I prefer elaborately detailed, nonprinted designs, but aside from that I would fill my closet with pieces like Vampire Requiem, and the Sleeping Beauty and Midsummer Night's Dream inspired prints.

Still, the fact remains that the "look" I really truly love the best is that of an all black ensemble with as many ornate details and light-catching textures as one can fit in, without looking too busy. I mean the types of pieces that give a delicate, ethereal shimmer to a kuro gothic outfit.

So lately, I've realized that I would probably feel much more satisfied with my small wardrobe if I turned my attention to making pieces that fit what I think of as my primary style. I've had fun working with fabric and patterns that are a little odd for me, stylewise (for one thing it's hard to find solid black fabric at JoAnn's), and I would certainly like to branch out and try different looks as they catch my eye.

But oh, to look like a dark princess of Faerie...

That being my goal (as it has been all along), I've decided to make my next big project an elaborate kuro gothic JSK or OP. Yesterday I was able to purchase a pattern (Simplicity 4015--a costume pattern, or that's what they think) with the type of bodice I'll need: one with princess seams, so that decorations such as my beloved corset lacing can be added across the center panel. Handily, it also comes with pattern pieces I can make (or alter) into a capelet and/or cape, pieces which I've been eagerly waiting to bring into my wardrobe.

As to brand inspiration, however, I've finally discovered a brand that seems to capture pretty well the look I'm after. That brand is Atelier Pierrot, which I had heard of before, but I really discovered them through the Tokyo Rebel blog. To give a visual example of what "dark faerie princess" means to me, let me link you to a couple of posts on said blog.

~The Bustle Corset One-piece in black (scroll down a bit) could easily be one of my dream dresses. You may remember the first skirt I made, which had a similar bustle effect to this one. This onepiece (or is that jumperskirt?) inspired the design of my next project. It was already going to have corset lacing (that's my default in blouses or bodices!), and I've made a skirt like this once already, so there you go. I may add poofy sleeves--can't get enough of them, either.

~The Cup Bustle One-piece (the second and third pictures down) is a bit more unusual, but I like the girly look of the neckline ruffles, and it's neat to see other ways that a bodice with corset lacing can be designed. The skirt is pretty cool too, I have to say.

Well. Somehow I feel better just by having resolved to pursue the lolita style that's most "me," even if it takes a little while getting there. (Fabric-acquiring is in the works, though. Yes. Hopefully.)

On a side note, please do wish my family good luck. I found out this morning that my grandmother probably has cancer. However, as Jillian Venters (of Gothic Charm School) has said, distraction is very good at times like these, and I'll look forward to telling my lovely ballroom guests all about my second ever meetup that happens in three days.

Of goodies, plans, and a Special Anniversary

Hello, my dear Ballroom guests, and welcome to the first post of the year! I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday. Mine had its ups and downs, but in any case I'm very happy to be back in the blogging and sew-loli-ing swing of things.

Speaking of the new year, I'd like to mention that these first couple weeks in January are a rather special time for me as a lolita. I don't remember the exact date, but around this time one year ago, I realized that I belonged with the frilly beruffled masses. At that time I didn't foresee starting a blog, much less having 35 followers! Thank you all so much! Thank you also to all the wonderful blogs I follow, which have inspired me so much along the way.

To start with, I suppose I should share pictures of a few goodies I've acquired since last time. One of my favorite gifts was a Harajuku Lovers bag from my cousin, which works perfectly for a knitting bag.

My sisters and mom all love to craft and sew, so we took a trip to A. C. Moore, a craft store which we unfortunately do not have here in California (in my corner of it, anyway). I picked up a couple of charms--a rose cameo by Blue Moon Beads, and a rather awesome angel wing + dangling chain charm from Rebel Shine.

 

I'd like to put them on necklaces or chokers (I need more chokers!) but I'm not quite sure yet. When I acquire something this fabulous, I have to ponder awhile just what to do with it.

Last month, I had talked a little about my resolutions, which include a whole bunch of sewing type projects. Somewhere recently I read about the idea of setting monthly goals for yourself, so as to not become overwhelmed. So by the end of January, I would like to:
~Finish knitting my red lace-up kneesocks
~Finish a black lace pair that I'm also working on (pictures to come!)
~Add a ruffle to the skirt I made for a loli Halloween costume (it's a bit too short)
~Finally make a skirt out of that black and white printed fabric I have (which reminds me a bit of an ornately decorated garden--I can't wait to wear it!)

I'd also like to send off for samples to a fabric website I discovered, Dharma Trading Co. It seems to have good reviews, and I'm quite excited because they have plain black (and plain white) fabric, which is very hard to find at JoAnn's. I figure if I want embroidered fabric (which I do!), for me the best way would be to just embroider it myself. I've been itching to learn how, anyway. That, and crochet. Mark my words, I'm going to have rose lace and beaded lace somehow, and I've seen some really pretty examples of crocheted lace. <3

Some of those goals have a slightly sooner deadline than the end of the month, as it happens. Right now I'm ecstatic, as I'm finally going to a second meetup! This one is a picnic potluck, as before, and once again coordinated by Oli of Lemon Tree.

The meetup doesn't happen till the 22nd, so by that time I hope to finish my red socks and the black and white skirt. You know, I was wondering how in the world I would build a coordinate around blood-red socks when most of my small wardrobe is black and/or white. However, I have a few red accessory pieces, such as that red and white bow I purchased from akumaxkami of Les Fleurs Noires.  So a red, black and white coordinate could be very interesting to put together, I think. It'll probably be chilly, so I'd like to knit a beret or some other hat on which to pin my bow. (I just realized I'll be channeling Misako Aoki and her fabulous berets.)

I'll keep you posted as I complete projects, so look out for completion pics and worn pics! Also, I've learned that the theme this month for EGL is "showing your wardrobe," so I may do that here. I have very few lolita pieces, but it would be fun to lay out and photograph what pieces I do have.

I hope you're having a darkly frilly January so far. <3

Of Resolutions and Dreams

It's a little early for New Year's Resolutions, but there are several long-held dreams of mine that seemed like they would make good resolutions. In fact, I've already started on some of them. Although fulfilling any resolution or goal requires effort, these particular ones are the kind that don't seem like work at all (all though they definitely are, I can attest), because they mean so much to me.

Even so, sometimes these aspirations seem more far off than ever, so I thought making them into formal "resolutions" might spur me on. I know that often, making up your mind to do something, or taking the first step, can be one of the hardest parts of meeting a goal. So I'd like to invite you to think about any dreams of yours, lolita-related or otherwise, that might seem a long way away, and let's both try to get closer to that final goal in the coming year.

Some of my resolutions:
~Turn more of the stories in my head into rough drafts of novels
~Make demo recordings of some of my songs (songwriting is a hobby of mine)
~Keep improving my drawing, and learn how to properly color with Gimp2
~Expand my lolita wardrobe, thereby improving my sewing in the process.

Recently there was a post on Daily Lolita in which a lolita mentioned her intent to wear the fashion everyday for three weeks, as part of "breaking a social norm" for Sociology class. This inspired a narrowed down version of "Expand my lolita wardrobe." By next Loliday six months from now, I would like to have made (or loli-fied) enough clothing so that I can wear lolita for three weeks straight. Just thinking about it now is making me go all dreamy-eyed...

And when I start this ambitious project (the three weeks of actual wearing), the Era of Daily Outfit Snaps shall begin! In the meantime, be sure to expect a steady stream of sewing related posts. Of course, I'll be wearing lolita more and more as my wardrobe expands, so I do believe the Era of Slightly More Often Than Not Oufit Snaps will segue nicely into the other, aforementioned Era.

In other news, sadly I shall have to neglect this blog for a few weeks around Christmas. Every year my family takes a trip to visit grandparents and cousins, and its a bit hard to update when you're in a house with 24 other people.  (Oh yes, I'm the oldest of 15 cousins...and I love every one of 'em.)

So if I don't post again before we leave, I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas!