It's 2am here, but I was spurred to write this post by reading the farewell post of another lolita blog that I've loved for a long time. It made me cry, to see the blogger go, not just from lolita blogging but from lolita itself.
It made me think how I've posted much less in recent days than I want to, sewn much less than I long to. But that isn't because I'm losing interest. It's because school and chronic depression / anxiety saps so much of my energy sometimes. It's because I don't (YET) have a sewing machine with me in my apartment. It's because on the weekends I do go home, the house is always so cluttered (an ageold very frustrating problem for my house) that it's hard to find space to sew.
You have to understand, to a goth, saying "I'm leaving the [fashion/subculture/whatever]" is, well, confusing. A lot of my approach to lolita comes out of my having discovered goth first; so I don't consider it something I'll ever tire of or (Goddess forbid!) grow out of. No, I plan to grow into it. The reason--one reason--I feel so strongly about that is that I haven't really had a chance to shine in it yet! I'm still in the protostar phase, winding up my accretion nebula so that I can start nuclear fusion in my core the moment I get the chance.
That was an astronomy metaphor, yes. I love astronomy! It made me realize there is ONE thing that would make me suffer through more school after my bachelor's. And it wouldn't even be suffering! Because stars and exoplanets and nebulae and galaxies and yay!
I end up using science metaphors all the time. It's really amusing. And useful! And nerdly.
Back to my point: what I meant in that metaphor was I haven't sewn as many lolita clothes as I would need for a full "basic" wardrobe. I haven't sewn stuff to sell to my other lovelies out there either! The thing I am happy about though, is that I've been working on some other long-dreamed-of goals, such as art of my characters. My characters always inspire me, including in fashion, so hopefully I can get some fabric and start sewing soon! *dusts off ribbon-rose making skills*
(By the way, class M stars, the dim red ones, shine for like a hundred billion years, literally. The Universe is only 14 billion years old or thereabouts, so we haven't actually observed a class M star going out. They almost LITERALLY burn forever.)
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