Of top hats and metal

As you may have guessed, the posting will be quite erratic till I get the path to my goals somewhat stabilized. However, I've been wanting to show you two tiny tophats that I bought from a (new) friend of mine, Raven of Sanguine Threads. She's a lovely person. We were basically BFF's from the moment we started talking, and I feel like she's a mentor figure to me now. I also recommend the band whose concert we were attending at the time, namely Lolita Dark, as their brand of melodic metal is stunning and they're also personal friends of mine.

Anyway! Hats.

Preeeeettty. The black butterfly on the right hat reminds me of my character Taralyn, as those are her symbol.

She threw in a couple other hair accessories as freebies! I've worn the black lace hairpins, but so far I've been sitting over the hats like a dragon on its hoarde, just going 'preeeeetttty'.

That is all for now, except for a small update that my sewing machine WILL eventually cooperate with me. (Context: it hasn't been.) I thought I wasn't threading it correctly but after having my mom look at it (I learned sewing from her), it seems there's a screw missing in the bobbin case. Oh well, there's a sewing machine maintenance store in walking distance of my house...

And then, I WILL get this cosplay dress sewn for my partner. And the cloak I promised a friend years ago. And *GLORIOUS* +BLACK+ ~FRILLS~ for moi.

Of moments when one feels lolita

After posting yesterday I tried to clean up my tags a bit. No more accidental tags like "thrifting diy lareine versailles halloween crafting"... Yeah, I probably forgot the commas when tagging that one.

Anyway, I'm at my favorite Coffee Bean near my house, sharing a mocha latte with my sheep.

Annabelle Lee says hai!

As well as cyber space, last night I also tried to clear up and reorganize my realspace, so it's closer to the dark lolita boudoir of goth fae princessness that I dream of having. I'm making progress! Enough to be proud of anyway.

I put all my accessories (below a certain size range) in one box, and I wanted to show you the result. I kid you not, that was the entire reason for this post. That, and not wanting to wait another month to post while I'm trying to revitalize my blog.

A box of black roses and lace!

My wardrobe is far from complete--indeed it's not even what I would consider 'acceptable' in the frills department. But sometimes when I see all these oddments gathered together like this, all of the particular aesthetic that makes me so happy, it's just...encouraging, you know?

On that note, I can't wait to get back to sewing, although I'm dreading having to get to know my new machine...

Of a gothy Witch and some neat questions

Hello again lovelies, I've been meaning to post again, but spoons are a thing (as in spoon theory, which you may find helpful if you haven't encountered it yet). Another issue is finding a topic.

But since I'd like to broaden my focus a bit to include goth and lolita stuffs (as usual)...as well as other aspects of my goals and interests that I find relevant to these two subcultures I love. And which, hopefully, others in those subcultures will find interesting or inspiring as well. After all, I have been from the beginning a lifestyle lolita, and I would say I'm a lifestyle goth but that's usually considered redundant.

So, a topic I thought might be interesting is The Intuitive Tag, one of those questionnaires that goes around the blogosphere. I first heard of it here, at the Enchanted Parlour, a blog that inspires me in how I want to shape my own.

1) Tell us about your first paranormal experience~

I don't have anything blatantly paranormal, but I've always had a sense of connection and communication with deity, or with 'a higher realm' or whatever you wish to call it.

I also had several instances when I was first getting interested in astrology where I was dumbstruck by how well the current planetary aspects or the planets in my chart seemed to fit. (Disclaimer: If you don't find astrology useful or helpful, that's fine! I don't judge anyone on that as we all have our own paths and worldviews. In particular I try not to bring it up around people who share one of my other loves, astronomy...)

2) Have you ever had a premonition?

Actually...yes. Sometimes I get a very strong feeling that something will happen or at least is very likely to. A very special memory was preceded by one of these hunches. Anyway, the feelings I get are within the realm of 'ordinary' good intuition (the nonmagickal kind), and I sort of like that quantum uncertainty of 'Is this magick or mundane?' Of course, to a Witch, that's in some ways a meaningless question as (to me) everything is both, or at least part of a coherent whole. 

3) When did you get your first Oracle or Tarot deck?

My first and only so far was bought for me last summer by my partner! I was really excited since I'd been wanting one for a long time. It's called the...Crystal Visions Tarot, I think? It has lots of faeries, and dreamlike art. And the swords are nicely gothy. (I need a deck eventually that's EVEN MOAR gothy, but baby steps you know.) I love it.

Also, the digital art project of my characters was inspired by wanting to have my own version of an oracle deck with the gods of my world. That's on hold while I make a different type of deck, namely a fan-deck for a TCG I play (Weiss Schwartz if you're interested), but I do want to complete it sometime.

4) What element do you most connect with?

Fire, most of all. I can say that my sign, Leo, fits me very well. But I've always, always been drawn to water as well, whether it's the ocean or the rain (it's raining right now!) or a forest stream. I find it somewhat difficult to connect to the others, though I'd like to get to know them better. I'm really interested in permaculture, for example (which obviously has to do with earth).

5) Do you believe in faeries?

I do, but not in a physical, concrete way. I think of the worlds of stories as connected to or part of our...emotional and spiritual reality? Like, the layer of the universe that's just behind what's physically 'real'. I don't mean another dimension or anything so prescriptive, just... You know, it's really hard to explain what I mean. I will move on and hope that you understand what I'm trying to say, and apologize to those who don't.

6) The Moon or the Sun: which do you prefer?

...

Is this even a question?

Seriously though, a harder question would be the moon or the stars (of which Sol is one I suppose :P ). I have always loved the stars, first as a poet, then also as a scientist (which continues to inspire my poetic side as I learn more about space). It took me a bit longer to connect with the moon, but I very much do now. For one, it reminds me of my Witchyness.

7) What is your favorite crystal or stone?

I don't know as much about them as I want to, but a few favorites:
Amethyst (yay purple), garnet (bloodred ones especially), peridot (my birthstone), sparkly white clear gems (there's my Elven sensibilities showing up)...


8) Can you see spirits or spirit beings?

I don't think so, no. Aside from the spiritual connection to deity and other realms that I've always experienced...

9) Would you rather fly on a broomstick, control fire, breathe underwater, or make things go faster?

Broomstick wheeee! I could celebrate Halloween in style. Or any night really. Or day.

There's really no contest, but my Fire Nation-y side is torn by the firebending option, and I might be tempted by breathing underwater if I got a tail to go with it. ;) But yeah, I'm a gothy witch. There is literally no contest.

10) What's an animal you connect to?

(I took out the word 'totem' as that feels appropriating to me.)

That is...hard. Even as a kid I could never really pick a'favorite animal', because I just don't connect that much to the animal kingdom. Well, I like snakes. Or possibly some sort of bird, or large ocean creature. Ravens and swans are important in my stories, and I like dolphins and whales. In fact last night I dreamt about rescuing a whale. A sign perhaps?

Ooh, I forgot--I do love bees. They're so complex and neat. And bats obviously.

11) Tell us about your first spirit guide

(I'm conflicted about this term as well. But I simply don't know whether it's appropriating or not so...I'll leave it with a disclaimer?)

Hmm. I've always found it very easy to 'converse' with characters--both mine, and those in works that I love. I would count those characters I talk to most as my spirit guides, if I have them.

Although, fun fact (I'm nervous saying this): Deity, or God and Goddess, came to me through my creative work, long before I even realized I wanted to be Wiccan. So, the gods of my world...are my own pantheon as well. I think it's pretty cool, but I'm always a bit shy to tell people that.

12) Do you connect more with the stars or the Earth?

 Stars, probably... But there's so much I want to do here on Earth, and to experience and change for the better.

Protip: nebulae are beautiful.

13) Your preferred method of blessing or cleansing?

Since I'm fairly new to this path, I haven't had the chance to explore most of the ritual elements yet. But in the future I hope to! 

14) What color do you feel most spiritually connected to?

Black. Besides being gothy, to me it feels like it holds profound, mysterious whimsy, dark romance and dramatic fantasicality. Yup. That's pretty much why I love it.

Actually I used to connect to white a lot, before I discovered goth. It reminded me of otherworldly starlight, and other such Elvish sentiments.

Of mist that clears to find the moon

*blinks at sidebar*

I really need to clean this place up. See what blogs are inactive, maybe have an "Archives" section for them...

Also, hello again! I've missed you.

I've been in an extended low-energy point for at least a year now, while it seems like life goals chaotically swerve around me. But I've finished college finally, I'm looking to end my unemployment, I have my own home with my partner...

And I have a sewing machine. And prospects of getting fabric.

Two of the three lolita dresses I made need serious repairs--I want to fix them. The third needs minor upkeep, by which I mean a couple of the roses are coming loose.

But then I want to sew again! And start building my goth and loli wardrobe once more. I'm also working gently towards my creative projects, teaching myself how to cook, trying to find more friends of the various (lolita, witchy, permaculture, goth, and so forth) subcultures in which I want to have a social group.

As someone with depression, I have to go slowly sometimes, or find ways of approaching goals that don't seem daunting or stress me out. One thing that helps is I walk to a coffee shop in my area (which doubles as my goal of more exercise!) and sit there with a latte while I work on things or relax with my laptop. Getting to do that feels really quite 'Lolita,' even though I'm not usually dressed up.

And in continuing this blog, and my presence (both social and creative) in the community, I hope I can be a lighthouse to others, as I've always wanted to be since the first post. I want other young lolitas or goths or anyone who reads this to know they aren't alone, and that they will achieve their dreams and realize the dark frilly world they've just begun reaching out towards.

Finally, for the first real time in what feels like a very long while, I wore lolita. It was at a winter formal held by my university's anime club. And I met a couple girls who like the fashion, so maybe there are some potential loli friendships already.

I very much want to show you the pictures, but they don't seem to have been posted on the event page yet. So I will edit this post when I do have access to them, or maybe make a new one. So,

May the Goddess of Night spread Her wings over the dreams you build.

Edit: Pics!

These two were taken by Terry Shih.

This was taken by Amy Wong, one of our other photographers for the event. I wanted to have a picture with my sheep, Sheepie Annabelle Lee. That's really Lolita, right? Also she's showing off her cute bonnet that I made.