Of mist that clears to find the moon

*blinks at sidebar*

I really need to clean this place up. See what blogs are inactive, maybe have an "Archives" section for them...

Also, hello again! I've missed you.

I've been in an extended low-energy point for at least a year now, while it seems like life goals chaotically swerve around me. But I've finished college finally, I'm looking to end my unemployment, I have my own home with my partner...

And I have a sewing machine. And prospects of getting fabric.

Two of the three lolita dresses I made need serious repairs--I want to fix them. The third needs minor upkeep, by which I mean a couple of the roses are coming loose.

But then I want to sew again! And start building my goth and loli wardrobe once more. I'm also working gently towards my creative projects, teaching myself how to cook, trying to find more friends of the various (lolita, witchy, permaculture, goth, and so forth) subcultures in which I want to have a social group.

As someone with depression, I have to go slowly sometimes, or find ways of approaching goals that don't seem daunting or stress me out. One thing that helps is I walk to a coffee shop in my area (which doubles as my goal of more exercise!) and sit there with a latte while I work on things or relax with my laptop. Getting to do that feels really quite 'Lolita,' even though I'm not usually dressed up.

And in continuing this blog, and my presence (both social and creative) in the community, I hope I can be a lighthouse to others, as I've always wanted to be since the first post. I want other young lolitas or goths or anyone who reads this to know they aren't alone, and that they will achieve their dreams and realize the dark frilly world they've just begun reaching out towards.

Finally, for the first real time in what feels like a very long while, I wore lolita. It was at a winter formal held by my university's anime club. And I met a couple girls who like the fashion, so maybe there are some potential loli friendships already.

I very much want to show you the pictures, but they don't seem to have been posted on the event page yet. So I will edit this post when I do have access to them, or maybe make a new one. So,

May the Goddess of Night spread Her wings over the dreams you build.

Edit: Pics!

These two were taken by Terry Shih.

This was taken by Amy Wong, one of our other photographers for the event. I wanted to have a picture with my sheep, Sheepie Annabelle Lee. That's really Lolita, right? Also she's showing off her cute bonnet that I made.

Of *BLACK* midnight and *WHITE* starlight

Monthly theme post time! Woo I'm excited, it's been so long since I've done this.

I have here some art. Tis my characters Ayava (in the first one) and then also Ayava but now with Taralyn. I could explain the really complex story behind all this, or I could just post it and let the pictures say what they will. I'll choose the latter. And go actually write said story in the meantime (procrastinating is a writer's worst enemy. Well that and zombie moths).

Destroy the Void

(...Hear Kyrle's laughter--

"Sweet Prince, your darkest dreams will

run from Me hereafter."

The Raven's Voice--

I cross Her dreamscythe

Beneath the cowl of Night, She smiles--

"Who does the King fight?")

Thorny Kiss

(I dreamt a graveyard

Beneath the Moon

Cathedral bells ring out--

The King shall waken soon!

And in their calling

In eerie Midnight

I dreamt me falling

Held safe by Starlight)

Actually, I do have one more~ It's Taralyn again (her hand), and also Lorcan (in the center). I'm especially proud of this one as its an image I've had in my mind for a long time.

The Prince in the Briars

(Summoner,

Come for me

Let me fall to Mystery's arms

Brush my back with your Raven's wings

With your kiss

Set me free

"Dream again my fae star-child

The Moon her grace and the Rose her charms

In the vault of glass still their fragrance clings

In my love beguiled.")

Of much plans, and such art wow

Hello, Ballroom Dancers. It's been a while. Writing about gothy and lolita things, though, is very much on my list of "I want to do this for the foreseeable future." I've just had a lot going on as I try to move into my adult life (in what feels like a rather belated and anxiety causing way).

I haven't been to clubs much recently, but I did randomly meet VictorianKitty from Sophistique Noir! That's the second time I've unexpectedly met her while clubbing, and both times we each apparently debated with ourselves whether the other was who we thought they were, or were we just seeing things. (We weren't.) I wasn't as gothed up as I'd have liked to be (it was an unexpected outing), but she was lovely and impeccably dressed as always.

So, there are a few...tangentially related things on the list of major changes in my life recently. I won't be bringing them up that often, but I want to kind of share my evolving paradigm and sense of who I am. I've realized that I'm bisexual, and polyamorous. I've found that the spiritual path that most speaks to me is Wicca--so you could say I'm witchy in more ways than one, hehe.

On the school and business front (wow that sounds like a really legit official name for something), I've finished my undergrad! Finally. I majored in Japanese, so I'd like to translate and eventually interpret. But I also want to go to grad school for astronomy (specifically extrasolar planets), after taking some classes at a community college or something.

Speaking of jobs, I am in the huntings. It is frustrate. Catspeak is seem to halp my mood a bit. Really hoping I get a job at this one diner I really like (yay pancakes all the time!) which is within walking distance of where my partner and I will be living soon.

Creative stuffs: I haven't had the chance to sew much lately--though I do finally have some fabric, and a sewing machine of my own (frustratingly its pedal is currently misplaced)--but I really want to get back into that. Although first I have to finish a long overdue commission for a friend. The lateness isn't entirely my fault, as I haven't had much access to a sewing machine, but it still feels awful, you know? Like, I want to be a more reliable commissioner than that, and intend to be in the future.

I have done a lot of digital art recently though (mostly of my characters). In fact, a store in my area that sells local artists is going to carry a few of my prints once I get them printed. It's exciting! I'll post the five down below that I picked, which I thought would be suitably halloweeny.

I'm also looking to take commissions (of art). If anyone is interested. I probably will crosspost this to my deviantart, BrushstrokesofFire. I'm not expecting a huge income from my art (and I very much still want a regular job of some sort), but every little bit helps. I mean my partner and I aren't in dire straights, but I need some financial autonomy. Anyway, while examples of my work would currently include mostly original characters, I hope to add some fanart too, soon. Just to show I can do that too. ;)

Anyway, time for halloweeny art pics~
(This is Taralyn and friends. I recently started writing a new draft of my planned book about her, which is really exciting. Been wanting to do that for a long time!)

And don't forget, it's almost October! (Which is Best Month, for obvious reasons.) Have a whimsically spook night until I see you again.

Of more updates and more art

Two of my characters in the faerie ballroom for which this blog is named.

Hello again! I've missed writing to all you gothic lolitas and other lovely dark types. In the future, I have Very Important Plans about the way I want my life to be, and upkeeping the Ballroom is one of them. I'm just currently in an in-between phase where I have to live at home, rather far away from the urban life (and friends) I've grown to love...so I've been feeling too lethargic to try and write a post. But someone I met at Noize Factory (Faktory?), who turns out to be a fellow blogger, inspired me to do an update.

Hmmm... Not a whole lot has been going on (unfortunately XP). I was going to do a post about the picnic and swap meet we had in...March? But I missed attending because of some work I had done on my teeth. (Fillings. Ugh. Also I just got all four of my wisdom teeth out--the back molars, in case you're unfamiliar with that term--which was my first time under general anaesthesia.)

So, my goal of making more friends in the loli community is still pending, but I have been making some goth friends, which I've been wanting to do for even longer. Kinda sucks being the only gothy type you know. Hence the outing to Noize Factory mentioned earlier!

Speaking of gothy friends, laser tag is amazing. Just putting that out there. It's not as non sequitur as it sounds.

The other thing that's been happening is more digital art of my characters and their dark fantastic world. I need to put the new pics on deviantart (which I linked in the previous post I think, if you're curious), but let me show you a few of the new ones. I feel like this post would be boring otherwise, hehe.

Umeko, my gothic lolita character. It sort of seems appropriate to post her first. I'm sure you understand why.

Umeko in her magical girl form.

Taralyn, my perkygoth dreamer and main character. Friend and fellow magical girl of Umeko, and later girlfriend.

Lorcan, the slumbering prince in Faerie whose spell Taralyn tries to break. Also her boyfriend. (A lot of my characters are polyamorous.)

Taralyn having coffee and a heart to heart with Rivarwe, the Raven Goddess. Who is also a biker. Sometimes.

 Thorny Kiss. Taralyn with King Ayava, her mentor and patron deity.

I wanted to add one more of Taralyn and Ayava, but it's not showing up, so maybe next time. Stay darkly romantic, okay? <3 Edit: Oh, that's what happened. It posted this pic at the beginning. Twice. I think I'll keep the other one as an intro pic.

Of returning and plans and dark fantasy art and stuff

Hello my goths and lolis, I hope everyone had a fun or at least not stressful holiday season. I'm currently in the process of a grueling (traditional! for my family) 36 hour roadtrip back to my home, so I wanted to do something slightly more glamorous for the moment and reconnect with my gothic lolita dream world that I haven't had much energy for in the chaos of school.

Still working on those pics from Halloween, where I dressed as a certain witch I rather crush on, from Madoka Magica.

As for sewing news, I've had to move back home briefly before graduate school, and while difficult in some ways, that does mean I can sew more easily. I had a severe lack of fabric while I was in my apartment. I do finally have my own sewing machine though! Thank you, boyfriend. And craigslist.

I am doing a lot of digital art of my characters, though, so I thought I'd post some of those. This project started out as my own version of Tarot cards, and then I decided to make a fan deck for the card game Weiss Schwarz, which has groups of cards based on different anime and manga serieses.

Most of this project is on my deviantart, if you're interested. Thanks for looking!

Also stay gothy and lolita-...y? Yes. Do that.

Of witches and a particular witch's symbol

I've missed you and the bloggingz so much! I don't know if I can post often till after this quarter, when I graduate (finally!), but I wanted to pop in for a Halloween greeting.

A couple days ago I figured out what I should do for this Halloween, costume-wise I mean. I haven't gotten to craft much lately, so this also gave me a chance to crochet.

Anyone recognize this? Sorry for the quality!
(It's a 2d representation of a 3d object, so I don't blame you if you don't)

If not, follow this page (spoilers for Madoka).

Yep, it's the grief seed of my favorite Madoka witch, who's outfit (well, an anthropomorphic version of it) I can luckily pull out of my all-black closet. >:D 

Of my love for this subculture that will shine until class M stars go out

It's 2am here, but I was spurred to write this post by reading the farewell post of another lolita blog that I've loved for a long time. It made me cry, to see the blogger go, not just from lolita blogging but from lolita itself.

It made me think how I've posted much less in recent days than I want to, sewn much less than I long to. But that isn't because I'm losing interest. It's because school and chronic depression / anxiety saps so much of my energy sometimes. It's because I don't (YET) have a sewing machine with me in my apartment. It's because on the weekends I do go home, the house is always so cluttered (an ageold very frustrating problem for my house) that it's hard to find space to sew.

You have to understand, to a goth, saying "I'm leaving the [fashion/subculture/whatever]" is, well, confusing. A lot of my approach to lolita comes out of my having discovered goth first; so I don't consider it something I'll ever tire of or (Goddess forbid!) grow out of. No, I plan to grow into it. The reason--one reason--I feel so strongly about that is that I haven't really had a chance to shine in it yet! I'm still in the protostar phase, winding up my accretion nebula so that I can start nuclear fusion in my core the moment I get the chance.

That was an astronomy metaphor, yes. I love astronomy! It made me realize there is ONE thing that would make me suffer through more school after my bachelor's. And it wouldn't even be suffering! Because stars and exoplanets and nebulae and galaxies and yay!

I end up using science metaphors all the time. It's really amusing. And useful! And nerdly.

Back to my point: what I meant in that metaphor was I haven't sewn as many lolita clothes as I would need for a full "basic" wardrobe. I haven't sewn stuff to sell to my other lovelies out there either! The thing I am happy about though, is that I've been working on some other long-dreamed-of goals, such as art of my characters. My characters always inspire me, including in fashion, so hopefully I can get some fabric and start sewing soon! *dusts off ribbon-rose making skills*

(By the way, class M stars, the dim red ones, shine for like a hundred billion years, literally. The Universe is only 14 billion years old or thereabouts, so we haven't actually observed a class M star going out. They almost LITERALLY burn forever.)